Meet Jim
........read his story and decide for yourself if Joe should have his ass kicked!
Joe
* Some of the details of this story are very graphic in nature - you have been warned.
"I drove from Colorado to Ohio to meet friends for an annual camping trip we have been doing for about the last 15 years or so. I met my best friend of 20 years there along with a bunch of really cool people from college and my hometown. The camping site is in the Wayne National Forest out in the middle of nowhere in southeastern Ohio.
Basically it was a week of dickin' off in the woods that has it all! - fishing in the stream and river, mountain biking, hiking, swimming in the pond, the annual ca-brew-ing trip down the river, and of course tons and tons of beer, morning noon and night around a raging bonfire.
The camp has a lot of poison ivy as well and I am highly,deathly allergic to it and my best friend knows it. He used to pick it out of the ground and wave in my face as joke and I would tell him that I would kick his ass if he ever touched me with it. He never did because he knows that I can and I would kick his ass.
Well, sometime in the middle of the week, he took a pair of my jeans and rubbed a ton of poison ivy in the crotch area. Now, I don't wear underwear, and it just so happened that the day I wore those pants, I got so drunk I fell asleep in them all night and wore them until about 2 pm the next day. About 36 hours of contact time. The last night there, I was beginning to feel the effect of the shit.
I woke up early to drive back to Colorado, a 25 hour drive, and was uncomfortable, but no real symptoms yet, just a little itchy. I left the gang and by the third hour of my trip back home, my legs, inner thighs, ball sack, dick, just erupted into a giant puss-leaking mess. At this time, I had no idea why, and started to freak out. I then thought that maybe I sat in some poison ivy, or who knows what.
I stopped to get some benedryl and baby wipes, and each hour it got progressively worse. I soaked 2 pair of shorts so thoroughly, that I could literally wring out the plasma that I was oozing. Finally, by the time I reached the Kansas-Colorado border, I just said "fuck it" and drove over a 100 mph trying to get to the medical center in my Colorado hometown, or at least get pulled over and have the cop take me to the ER. This was later in the evening, so when I arrived in Frisco, Co., I drove right to the ER and walked in and took off my pants and showed the nurse on duty. She gasped at the site and I told her to give me the biggest, baddest shot they have for this since my dick and scrotum were at least double the size from all the swelling.
Hey, I know people pay a lot of money to get that done, but damn, not when you are oozing out of everywhere and all the skin has broken or peeled off from the massive swelling. A few hours later, or at least by the morning, the pain and swelling and oozing had disappeared miracuously, but I had to take a lot of steroid pills for about 5 days, and ran a risk of serious infection since I just had raw skin down there.
The bottom line: I was betrayed for no reason at all by my best friend (who I have not talked to in about two years.) Actually we have spoken on the phone 3 times for about 10 minutes each, but meaningless chit chat. This from a friend I once considered a soul-brother and just a way-cool dude. I think that once I kick his ass, we can start to rebuild the relationship. But I need closure and I need to kick his ass. The last time I was in town, he was conveniently MIA - he knows this is coming! Please Help. Thank you, Jim"
Bill Rabbitt and John Franke sporting their KJA t-shirts at the annual ca-brewing trip at Wayne National Forest - Memorial Day 2004. Click on the How Can I Help link above to find out how to get your very own KJA t-shirt and support the effort to Kick Joe's Ass!
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